Friday, July 22, 2005

I'm a loser baby...

Well, I guess I must be. I can never seem to get any action. And by action I mean any activity other than waking up, going to work, coming home, going to sleep (get your mind out of the gutter).
I think I'm pretty damn cute (and funny to boot) but WHAT THE HELL! I have to practically beg people to hang out with me. Everyone always seems to be "busy". Plus, I've been on a popular internet dating site for almost three months now and have only gone on two dates (and I asked THEM out!) Sheesh.
So, unless you want me to become a hermit (or become REALLY annoying), please give me some tips - anything you can spare would be appreciated. Of course, by tips, I really mean adamant votes to the contrary of the above diatribe as well as gushing complements.

you can also view this blog and more about me at http://blog.myspace.com/sherriberri

Monday, July 18, 2005

Dates are fun

My friends often call me an instigator. Unfortunately, many of my close friends have learned their lesson (or are just really lame) and so aren't always suckered in anymore. So, I have to go to people I've just met with all my plans. My latest victim was a second-date acquaintance. Someone I met online. A somewhat straight-laced, professional east-sider who was lulled by the innocent first-date of dinner out. We were all set to go on our next date when they day before I emailed with a change of plans. I suggested he meet me in Capital Hill dressed in his best punk attire. When he claimed he didn't have any, I said "Never fear - I have plenty". Well, he was a trooper and didn't get scared off by that so we proceeded to an open call for extras for a local director's movie shoot. The set was a warehouse made to look like a dive-bar punk club. There was a punk band belting out songs (over & over) and the story called for all of us to get poisoned and die. He hung in - we were there for about 6 hours. He said it was the most unusual and one of the best second dates he's ever had. Which is very unfortunate since I'm just not that into him. Oh well - it was still a fun date.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Instant Karma

Last week a friend bet me that if I went on Match.com & propositioned 10 guys to be my "boy-toy" that 9 would respond in the affirmative. I said "no way!" Not, "no way, I would never do something so sleazy & low". But rather, "no way - I'm thinking more like 4 would respond in the affirmative". Any way you look at it, it's a win-win for me - either 9 boy-toys or some number fewer than 9 and a free dinner.

So, a-trolling I go. Funny, there aren't that many cute 25-28 year-olds with tattoos and hot bods on Match.com. I guess they somehow get dates using other methods. I pick one. I send the email. I wait patiently. Do I get anything back? No - but I do get a message from someone else:

"heya -
wanna teacha 19 yr virgina thing or two"



I didn't send any other propositions...

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Happiness

My independence day weekend started off by getting stood up (twice). The first time was just by a girlfriend who had invited me out to see a show but forgot to call and tell me the show was cancelled. Ah well - I was able to get to sleep early in order to be all refreshed for my second stand-up the following day. Although, one of my friends told me that if one is more than 10 minutes late and the person you were going to meet leaves, then technically, you didn't get stood up. Hey - I thought everyone was always 15 minutes late. In fact, my ex was notoriously 30 minutes late ("If you say 5:00, it just means sometime during the 5:00 hour") and my buddy D has absolutely no concept of time - she usually showed up...sometime...eventually. Anyway - I wasn't there at the appointed time, so how do I know he was? I got stood up, dammitt!

Anyway, it was a beautiful day and sometimes I actually do enjoy my own company, so all was good. The next day was also beautiful. And since I got tons of sleep (which makes me very happy), when I rolled out of bed at 10 am, I decided I had plenty of energy to walk to the coffee shop. The flowers were a-bloom, the air was clean, the birds were singing...and I had an icy-fresh double tall mocha in my hand. So, I don't think I really derserved that loook I got from the three guys in the car at the stop sign when they caught me skipping down the sidewalk. I mean. c'mon - who WOULDN'T skip at a moment like that?

What a great weekend...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Weekend Update

This past weekend I traveled all the way across the country just to see what kind of fun I could have. Turns out I do the same thing on the East coast as on the West coast. Sleep late, walk around, buy shoes and have crazy nights with my friends. So, here's a funny story from Friday...

I'm hanging out with my cousin who lives in the city. He's planning an evening at a cool burlesque club he's been frequenting. And another long-time pal of his is also in town. We go out and it turns out that this long-time pal was in the band that my first boyfriend in college was in. Small world.

The burlesque show starts...we think. In fact, it seems a bit lame. It's just a girl (a hot girl) dancing on stage in her bra & panties. Slightly entertaining, but not burlesque.

However, we were not to be disappointed - the announcer introduces the MC for the evening. The curtains open. And there's a guy there in a sweatsuit. The song begins to play. It's the Wonder Woman show theme song! This guy proceeds to rip his clothes off - underneath he's wearing a full-on Wonder Woman costume. It's spectacular. The rest of the show turns out just as good.

Of course, being guys, my cousin & his pal insist that the Princess of Power is gay. I disagree (as does the other girl who is with us.) Girls just can tell these things. And, as it turns out, I had a chance to prove those guys wrong!

After using all my powers as a cute drunk chick, I proceed to force myself on him and convince him to take me home with him. His famous last words: "My apartment is really small."

No f'ing kidding! We get to his place and it's smaller than my bedroom. Maybe half the size. And it's his whole apartment! Granted, he has no kitchen. And (horrors!) no bathroom. Handily, there is a sink. Well, hopefully, it's not that handy.

Anyway, not only is his place small, he has more CRAP then I have ever seen. Well, except for in my apartment. But I have 4 rooms!

Now, usually, I am the picture of grace. But no sooner had we walked (inched & squeezed our way) into his place then I start to take on the characteristics of a bull in a china shop. Everywhere I put my feet I heard a crunch. Everywhere I put my hands, something fell to the floor. If I bent over to pick said item(s) up, my head (or butt) would crash into something else. It was a disaster.

Of course, I'm pretty much hysterically laughing the whole time, but this poor guy is acting like he's never had this happen before. As a matter of fact, when I climbed (foot on cabinet *crunch*, hand on rail "Not there!" *crash*, hoist up "Watch it!" *bang*) up on to the "loft" bed and leaned over causing a chain reaction whereby the mattress flipped over 180 degrees above my head as I tumbled to the ground before leaping to my feet to catch said mattress after bouncing off the shelves on the opposite wall (*crash* *crash* *crash*) in order not to be crushed, he said just that:
"I've never seen that happen before", jaw on the ground, confused and aghast.

Like I said before, poor guy. Luckily, he was able to shuffle me off fairly soon thereafter so that he could begin putting his life back in order.

So, back at home now, rested but bruised.

Monday, June 13, 2005

36 Hours

You know how you try to do the right thing for yourself? Like eat well, exercise, drink plenty of water? Well, for me I like to add "get 36 hours of sleep on the weekends" to that list.

"36 Hours?" you ask. "Don't you have things to do?" Well, sure. But I live alone, don't eat at home much, and am generally pretty neat. Oh, and I rent rather than own - so most things people have to do around the house, I have the landlord do. Plus, I feel like I pack a lot in during the week, so the weekends are "me time".

How does one fit 36 hours into two days? Easy - if you count Friday night. 8 hours is a typical night's sleep for most people. For me, I like to shoot for 9. If you're one of those people who don't even get 8 a night, well, I'm sorry. So, anyway - I'm starting at 27 right there for just the regular Fri-Sat-Sun night amount.

Add to that an extra hour or two on Sat & Sun "sleep in" time and you're up to 29 or 30. Now all I need is a nap each day and I'm well on my way to 36. Mind you - I don't always get the full 36 - that's just a goal. I typically get around 30-32 some weekends. Others, I may only get 8 hours a night with no naps. But on the rare occasion I do get the full 36, I feel so refreshed and ready to go on Monday. It's a great feeling.

One downside to all this is if I happen to have a really lazy Sunday like I did this weekend. I was able to lounge around in bed all day. Unfortunately, sometimes you hit the 36 mark at the wrong time - like 2 AM Monday morning. There's not much to do at 2 AM Monday morning. Especially when you have to be at work in 7 hours. Ah well, such is the life of a slacker. Luckily I forced myself back to sleep at about 3:30. Now, I'm all loopy - as is evidenced by this narrative.

Back to work...

Friday, May 13, 2005

Open Letter to D (# 3)

So, Saturday, EP was supposed to call me around 11:00 to go meet her friend who works for Windermere. He was showing this $2M home that's under construction with a great view. She didn't call me until 1:00. She came & got me and we went out there - it was quite nice - you had to use your imagination though - it was just boards.

We went and had Chinese food up north that was really tasty and then we went to the golf store & she bought golf clubs. Very mellow.

I explained that I would be "taking it easy" from "now on" - no drinking or eating out. So, we went to this great little sports bar in QA and drank a couple of beers & ate a big greasy hamburger while we watched the Dallas/Houston final playoff game. It was fun. She had called POS earlier to tell him where we were (she tried to get me to call him but I refused). He showed up.

So, we left there and called it an early night - POS gave me a ride home, we chatted. Somehow we got on the conversation of my "Hot Date" (S had called while we were at the bar and asked me out for Monday) and he started asking me questions. I got a little flustered and asked him why he wanted to know. "Just trying to make conversation." he says. I guess I'm too sensitive. Anyway, I wasn't brave enough to ask him how his love life was going.

Sunday, I met V & TNG for brunch. That was nice. TNG had to leave town so I hung out with V for a bit - we went for a walk with her dog. Another mellow day - didn't really do much else.

Monday I was supposed to go out with S but the day was really busy, I was cranky & tired. So, I called him up and explained that I was in a horrible mood and could we skip going out. I suggested that I could just come over and we could watch a movie or something & he thought that sounded like a great idea. So I did. And we did. It was nice. But he's definitely not long-term. Fun to hang out with though.

Write me back and tell me whassup witchuo.

P.S. "now on" really just means until the 20th when I leave for NO.